How to answer the question – Do I need a therapist?
You may have been wondering – Do I need a therapist? Am I depressed? Should I be able to manage this on my own? Does this problem really warrant therapy? What will it say about me if I seek out therapy?
These questions are very normal to have, as we live in a society that does not always encourage reaching out. However, we are, as a society, starting to see value in counselling and therapy. We recognize how it can improve our quality of life, help us reach our goals, resolve issues and problems, and improve our lifestyle. It can help us learn to be happier and cope better with emotions. All of these are goals any of us will be proud to have. Yet, the illness paradigm makes us feel that the need for a therapist is only for severe mental health problems. Yes, if you have been suffering severely, we are here to help you. However, if you want to work on well-being, relationships or procrastination, we are here for you then as well.
Do I need a therapist? – Checklist
You can use this checklist to determine if you require a therapist. If you agree with any of these statements, you might benefit from getting counselling and therapy.
- I am eager to explore my identity
- I aim to gain a better understanding of my emotions, thoughts and behaviours
- I often have reactions that I don’t understand
- I have difficulty describing/ understanding what I am feelings
- I feel lost and confused about who I am
- My reaction and moods usually seem to come out of nowhere
- I don’t sleep as much as I would like
- I sleep more than I would like
- I don’t feel well rested even after a full night of sleep
- I have has difficulty sleeping for a long time
- I don’t remember the last time I slept well
- I stay up awake for hours at night frequently
- I wake up earlier than expected and can’t go back to sleep
- I wake up in the middle of the night and can’t go back to sleep frequently
- I feel that I am not doing enough
- I procrastinate a lot
- I can see that I am doing less than I could before
- Others have noticed that my performance has gone down
- I am unable to do any work or get started
- I frequently skip meals
- I frequently eat too much
- I regularly skip meals or eat too little
- I regularly eat too much
- I often purge post eating
- I have had noticeable weight loss in a short period of time
- I have had noticeable weight gain in a short period of time
- There are many things I want to do for myself but don’t get the time
- I hope to pursue hobbies and interests but don’t have the motivation
- I have stopped doing some things that I liked to do, though I want to
- I don’t feel like doing anything fun
- I don’t enjoy activities that I used to before
- I feel there is no point left in doing the things I once enjoyed
- I sometimes feel lonely
- I feel alone even among close friends and family
- I avoid social situations
- I have stopped going out and meeting people
- I stay in my room along most days
- Certain aspects of the past come back from time to time
- I have been through major trauma, and it sometimes affects me even now
- I have flashbacks/ nightmares of the trauma
- I have difficulty carrying out my daily activities because of the trauma
- I don’t feel as happy
- I often feel irritable
- I feel uneasy or restless frequently
- I feel overwhelmed often
- I feel extreme sadness often
- I feel a sense of hopelessness
- I have anger outbursts that later lead to guilt
- I often overthink
- I wish to think more positively
- I worry excessively about little things
- My negative thoughts disturb me frequently, affecting my day
- I find it difficult to see anything positive in life
- I frequently have had extreme negative thoughts that are difficult to come out of
- I often feel stressed out
- I am keen to learn ways to cope with stress better
- I am frequently stressed
- I am feeling burned out
- I feel consumed by anxious thoughts
- I am regularly afraid that something bad might happen
- I feel that I give more than I get in relationship(s)
- I feel that I am not putting sufficient efforts in my relationship(s)
- I feel that my needs in a relationship are not being met
- I have difficult family or relationship dynamics
- I feel there is a lot of disturbance or toxicity in my relationship(s)
- I have trauma from a past or current relationship
- I have been a victim of abuse
- I have lost a loved one recently, and I feel great pain and difficulty
- I feel a sense of loss, but I am not sure why
- I lost a loved one more than a year ago, but I feel intense pain, and am reminded of them frequently
- I would like to work on certain aspects of myself
- I wish to work on managing time/ reaching goals/ being productive
- I would like to work on my self-esteem/ confidence/ self-love
- I intend to work on my irritability/ anger issues
- I use social media / TV/ OTT platform excessively to distract myself from emotional pain
- I use food and overeat when emotionally distressed
- My use of alcohol or drugs is problematic
- I engage in sexually risky behaviours/ use sex to relive emotional distress
- I am confused about the way ahead in life
- I want to support a loved one who may be suffering
- I wish to have an unbiased and confidential person to talk to
- I feel that I should be doing more with my life
- I feel that I have repeated pattern in life that I would like to break
- I have physical symptoms that may be stemming from emotional concerns
- I have been going through major life transitions
- My physical health taken a toll
- I am feeling pressured by my own or other people’s expectations
- I never feel like I’m doing enough
- I need parenting support to help to support my child
- I have tried many things on my own, but they don’t seem to work
- I feel stuck or numb
- I think I have symptoms of a mental disorder
- I feel exhausted, tired or fatigued all the time without a proper reason
- I don’t care any more
- I don’t remember the last time I was happy
The Mental Health Continuum
Mental well-being isn’t a binary choice, like “you’ve got a mental health issue” or “you don’t”. Most of the time, our mental health is on a continuum, from amazing to awful. Depending on various contributing factors, such as loss of a loved one, financial problems or loss, the birth of a child, health issues prolonged illness, job loss or job gain, stressful working conditions, mistreatment, and many others, our mental well-being can change quickly or slowly over time. Consequently, it is possible for us to experience exceptional mental well-being at one stage, strained at another stage, or profound ill-health at yet another stage of our life
I have difficulty regulating my emotions
- I don’t feel as happy
- I often feel irritable
- I feel uneasy or restless frequently
- I feel overwhelmed often
- I feel extreme sadness often
- I feel a sense of hopelessness
- I have anger outbursts that later lead to guilt
My sleep is affected
- I don’t sleep as much as I would like
- I sleep more than I would like
- I don’t feel well rested even after a full night of sleep
- I have has difficulty sleeping for a long time
- I don’t remember the last time I slept well
- I stay up awake for hours at night frequently
- I wake up earlier than expected and can’t go back to sleep
- I wake up in the middle of the night and can’t go back to sleep frequently
I am not happy with my eating habits
- I frequently skip meals
- I frequently eat too much
- I regularly skip meals or eat too little
- I regularly eat too much
- I often purge post eating
- I have had noticeable weight loss in a short period of time
- I have had noticeable weight gain in a short period of time
My performance at work or school is affected
- I feel that I am not doing enough
- I procrastinate a lot
- I can see that I am doing less than I could before
- Others have noticed that my performance has gone down
- I am unable to do any work or get started
I have issues in my relationships
- I feel that I give more than I get in relationship(s)
- I feel that I am not putting sufficient efforts in my relationship(s)
- I feel that my needs in a relationship are not being met
- I have difficult family or relationship dynamics
- I feel there is a lot of disturbance or toxicity in my relationship(s)
- I have trauma from a past or current relationship
- I have been a victim of abuse
I have lost interest in activities
- There are many things I want to do for myself but don’t get the time
- I hope to pursue hobbies and interests but don’t have the motivation
- I have stopped doing some things that I liked to do, though I want to
- I don’t feel like doing anything fun
- I don’t enjoy activities that I used to before
- I feel there is no point left in doing the things I once enjoyed
I have had a loss
- I have lost a loved one recently, and I feel great pain and difficulty
- I feel a sense of loss, but I am not sure why
- I lost a loved one more than a year ago, but I feel intense pain, and am reminded of them frequently
I want to work on myself
- I would like to work on certain aspects of myself
- I wish to work on managing time/ reaching goals/ being productive
- I would like to work on my self-esteem/ confidence/ self-love
- I intend to work on my irritability/ anger issues
I have adopted unhealthy coping mechanisms
- I use social media / TV/ OTT platform excessively to distract myself from emotional pain
- I use food and overeat when emotionally distressed
- My use of alcohol or drugs is problematic
- I engage in sexually risky behaviours/ use sex to relive emotional distress
I want to work on my negative thinking
- I often overthink
- I wish to think more positively
- I worry excessively about little things
- My negative thoughts disturb me frequently, affecting my day
- I find it difficult to see anything positive in life
- I frequently have had extreme negative thoughts that are difficult to come out of
I feel stressed/ anxious
- I often feel stressed out
- I am keen to learn ways to cope with stress better
- I am frequently stressed
- I am feeling burned out
- I feel consumed by anxious thoughts
- I am regularly afraid that something bad might happen
I want to know myself
- I am eager to explore my identity
- I aim to gain a better understanding of my emotions, thoughts and behaviours
- I often have reactions that I don’t understand
- I have difficulty describing/ understanding what I am feelings
- I feel lost and confused about who I am
- My reaction and moods usually seem to be coming out of nowhere
I feel alone
- I sometimes feel lonely
- I feel alone even among close friends and family
- I avoid social situations
- I have stopped going out and meeting people
- I stay in my room along most days
I have experienced a traumatic event
- Certain aspects of the past come back from time to time
- I have been through major trauma, and it sometimes affects me even now
- I have flashbacks/ nightmares of the trauma
- I have difficulty carrying out my daily activities because of the trauma
I have other concerns
- I am confused about the way ahead in life
- I want to support a loved one who may be suffering
- I wish to have an unbiased and confidential person to talk to
- I have stress due to WFH/WFO
- I have COVID-19 stress
- I feel that I should be doing more with my life
- I feel that I have repeated pattern in life that I want to break
- I have physical symptoms that may be stemming from emotional concerns
- I have not been taking care of myself
- I have been going through major life transitions
- My physical health taken a toll
- I am feeling pressured by my own or other people’s expectations
- I never feel like I’m doing enough
- I need parenting support to help to support my child
- I have tried many things on my own, but they don’t seem to work
- I feel stuck
- I feel numb
- I think I have symptoms of a mental disorder
- I feel exhausted, tired or fatigued all the time without a proper reason
- I don’t care any more
- I don’t remember the last time I was happy